As if this year hasn’t been hard enough. Between a worldwide pandemic, a rollercoaster presidential election, and a record breaking hurricane season, you’re still single! The holidays are upon us and it would be nice to start 2021 with someone special.
I’ve had a lot of conversations with single people of all ages. From millennials, to baby boomers, there is a big disconnect between the sexes when it comes to dating. There are many directions I could take this article in, and with all the stories, I could write a book. So I am going to break it down into segments from profiles to dating and real life stories, I will honestly share, and I encourage comments and questions from our readers.
Three years ago when I came out of a long term relationship, I was appalled with what I encountered in the dating world – from online conversations, to in person connections, it all felt impersonal. Luckily I can laugh at it now. I hope you will relate, laugh with me and share some of your experiences as well. In 2020 it seems that sex is easy. But a real connection, a commitment, is as difficult as winning the lotto.
So, since a picture says a thousand words, let’s start with those profile photos…
Keep it simple – one head and shoulders shot in which you are smiling, one full body shot, and one shot of you doing something fun. Photos of you with a full head of hair, or 40 lbs. thinner, are deceitful if you don’t look like that now. Be proud of who you are, no matter what size you are or amount of hair you have. You are unique. Just be honest.
What do you think your profile actually says? You may be surprised at how you may be coming across by the things you say. Read on and see if you are doing any of the things below. If I had a dollar for every time I read the following statements on someone’s profile I would be rich.
If you wouldn’t share it with your peers, you probably shouldn’t use it. Be creative and keep it simple.
If you have rules on how people can or cannot act, you will be in for a rude awakening. IE: No losers, No gold diggers, Must be hot. Many of those “must haves” and “you must be” statements are limiting. Be more open and you may meet the most amazing person you never knew existed.
It’s demeaning and honestly nobody needs to know your history before you meet or on your first two dates. Take your time with personal information. If it does come up, respect your past, don’t trash it.
Chatting should be like tennis, a good back and for the volley. Match each other’s efforts. One line answers show zero effort, which in the end usually lead to zero results.
It’s a small mind that has to make fun of others to have fun. Don’t generalize anyone. We are all a little unique and that is what makes life interesting. If you use phrases like “dumb blonde” or “all men are pigs”, or call anyone stupid, you are the one being arrogant. There is always an exception to the rule. Show kindness.
To anyone that really wants to find a substantial connection or relationship I highly recommend stepping out of your comfort zone or mental box of rules and restrictions. Let go of your expectations of looks, money, cars and your definition of affection or love. There are several love languages, and ways of showing you care. Be open to the possibility of something different than the picture in your mind.
Until our next article, we look forward to hearing from you! So keep those comments and stories coming!
Kim is a South Florida native with a background in Non-Profit work, Special Events, Public Speaking, Community Outreach, and Development. Oakland Park has been her home for 20 years. She is a creative catalyst who enjoys creating win-win relationships on whatever project she puts her mind to. She is involved in Animal Rescue, Art events, C.E.R.T., and an American Red Cross volunteer. In her spare time, she does photography, writing and the outdoors.