Living In Oakland Park

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Hi Olivia,

Since my live-in boyfriend and I have been quarantined together it has been crazy. While I am sleeping he wakes up and makes a ton of noise as if he were in the house alone. We have argued about this constantly and he just doesn’t get it. I am on the verge of doing something that might end with a visit to the local jail. Please help me, I am about to lose my mind!


Dear Denise,

This extended “down time” has not brought out the best in everyone – that’s for sure. But the last thing we want is to see you on a local Channel 7 news clip for doing your boyfriend in with a frying pan. By now I am sure you have thought of several creative ways.

But on a serious note, since you have already (calmly and kindly?) talked to him about your needs, maybe its time to show him.

Having opposite schedules can be challenging, but also make you appreciate the limited time you do have together. So its important to make the best of it. Here are a few questions/thoughts I have…

  • Does he have a hearing problem? (Not selective hearing, but a genuine undiagnosed hearing problem)? I once learned a roommate was half deaf due to the same exact noise issues.
  • Are there things you can do to soften such noises? If its a banging cabinet door, you could put a soft pad on the door to keep it from banging so loudly.
  • Can you wear ear plugs, or sleep with a sound machine to dull the noises and increase his chance of survival? It can also help blur the screams of you dismembering his body at a later date.
  • I don’t like to resort to drugs, but you know the saying “Better living through chemistry?” Could you try an occasional sleeping pill to help you get the winks you need?
  • Do you have headphones for him to listen to the things that might keep you up? I.e. TV, podcasts, video games, etc.
  • As much as I hate to say this (for I always try to err on the side of kindness, but) have you given him a taste of his own medicine being woken up with distracting noises? Is it your fault that you drop half a drawer of silverware while unloading the dishwasher, or laugh way too loudly at a podcast that brings you joy at 2 am?
  • Lastly, would it be an acceptable idea to take a few nights off of the duo lock down? If you have separate rooms or places to go, maybe a night or two off would be a good respite for both of you? If one of you snored too loudly, would it be wrong to sleep in the other room every now and then, instead of duct taping the other’s mouth shut?

If by chance you feel its a complete disregard for your feelings, that’s a different story and there are online counseling possibilities, or of course back to the frying pan method.

All joking aside, rest is vital to everyone to function properly. A good nights sleep and REM are really important for daily functioning, from thought processes, to mood stability, to our energy levels. If you go too long with continually interrupted sleep, it can be really hard to get back on track.

We all have a moment of brilliance, so I am sure the two of you will think of something. There are a lot of possibilities, and there is a solution to everything. Just don’t let your solution end up on our local news!

May the force be with you!


Do you have a question? Ask Olivia for advice about anything: live, love, work, school, and she will give you her honest advice on her Ask Olivia column.

Click here to Ask Olivia a question.

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